Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHT