Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAINThere was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
MARK TWAIN