The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
TIM ALLEN
My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
TIM ALLEN