All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
TIM ALLENThe ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
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I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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I do a lot of family shows.
TIM ALLEN