“The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.”

Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.

The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.

I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.

If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.

If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.

Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.

I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.

I do a lot of family shows.

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?

I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.

I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.

The intelligence community is very professional, they do their jobs well, they’re the best intelligence gatherers in the world.

We already know that there are those close to James Comey who have a very different take, if there are tapes, of course, that would be the best evidence of what took place.

As that gallant can best affect a pretended passion for one woman who has no true love for another, so he that has no real esteem for any of the virtues can best assume the appearance of them all.

That best choice usually requires more effort and more thought, but, undeniably, the results are worth it.

The rooms I tend to be in are pretty democratic and the best idea wins.

The same way I want to spend time filling my mind with the best information I can acquire from the best sources I can obtain, I also want to consume nourishment from the best sources for my body.

The best way of leading people is to let them find their own way.

The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother’s advice about honesty being the best policy.