“Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.”

I do a lot of family shows.

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?

I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.

I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.

The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.

I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.

I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.

But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.

My mum had 14 pregnancies – but only four of us survived. We had a little sister born for a few days and she died. There had to be a funeral.

I feel like I was supposed to be born in the ’90s. Everything from that era needs to come back.

I was born a leader, never a follower. I never felt peer pressure. If the group goes left, I go right.

Hour 36 of labor. I pull at god’s necktie dig a hole at the hospital floor.

If you born in the mud, you gonna be dirty, and people don’t understand that.

Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.

I’m not a natural born performer.

Perfect behaviour is born of complete indifference.