I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLENMan is the only animal to borrow tools.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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I have a thing for tools.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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