I do a lot of family shows.
TIM ALLENCan we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
More Tim Allen Quotes
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
TIM ALLEN