A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
TIM ALLEN
Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
More Tim Allen Quotes
-
-
Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
TIM ALLEN -
Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
TIM ALLEN -
-
Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
TIM ALLEN -
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLEN -
The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
TIM ALLEN -
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
TIM ALLEN -
I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
TIM ALLEN -
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
TIM ALLEN -
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN -
Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
TIM ALLEN -
Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
TIM ALLEN -
If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLEN -
-
Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
TIM ALLEN