A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLENI think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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I do a lot of family shows.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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