If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLENI have a thing for tools.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN