“I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.”

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.

I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.

Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.

My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.

All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.

Definitely, it’s hard being a young artist and being taken seriously.

There is a power in everything; it is the job of the artist to determine it and express it.

Just because I’m a younger artist doesn’t mean I can’t work with a veteran and vice versa.

I guess with the generation we live in, we just want to be entertained at the end of the day. A lot of artists make themselves accessible, so they feel like every artist should be like that. Some artists shouldn’t be so accessible, to me.

Beware of artists, they mix with all classes of society and are therefore most dangerous.

I am an artist who’s just tryin’ to do something different, and basically not caring about everybody’s opinions and wanting to follow what everybody else is doing. At the same time, I know when to be serious, but I know when to joke.

I remember being backstage in my full look and the make-up artist said to me: ‘Did you hear? Kendall Jenner is here.’ ‘And I said, ‘She is? Oh my God!’

I’m not a Reggaeton artist and I’m not a Crunk artist either.