Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
TIM ALLENI am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
More Tim Allen Quotes
-
-
Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
TIM ALLEN -
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLEN -
I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN -
A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
TIM ALLEN -
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN -
I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN -
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLEN -
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
TIM ALLEN -
You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
TIM ALLEN -
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
TIM ALLEN -
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
TIM ALLEN -
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN -
My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
TIM ALLEN -
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
TIM ALLEN -
If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLEN