Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
TIM ALLEN
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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I have a thing for tools.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
TIM ALLEN