Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
TIM ALLEN
When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
TIM ALLEN -
The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
TIM ALLEN