“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.”

When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.

I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

Man is the only animal to borrow tools.

Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.

Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.

Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.

I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.

I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.

My parents never pushed me towards music. I feel like, growing up in a musical household and always being surrounded by it, I was always kind of a performer child. I remember my parents would have guests over, and they would bring their kids, and I would make sure that we were ready to put a show on.

All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control

We cannot teach children the danger of lying to men without feeling as men, the greater danger of lying to children.

What I do is so important to me. It’s like being a parent, in some ways, of a super-demanding , high-achieving child, with a cry that sounds really cool on the radio.

What is an adult? A child blown up by age.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

The best thing about it is you’re showing kids that no matter where you grow up, what race you are, that you can achieve your dream.

Quit thy childhood, my friend, and wake up!