“My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.”

I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.

I do a lot of family shows.

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?

I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.

I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.

The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.

I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.

I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.

Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.

How can you frighten a man whose hunger is not only in his own cramped stomach but in the wretched bellies of his children? You can’t scare him–he has known a fear beyond every other.

To completely trust in Allah is to be like a child who knows deeply that even if he does not call for the mother, the mother is totally aware of his condition and is looking after him.

I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children.

Merely to stuff the child with a lot of information, making him pass examinations, is the most unintelligent form of education.

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read!

Liberty is the first condition of growth. It is wrong, a thousand times wrong, if any of you dares to say, ‘I will work out the salvation of this woman or child.

Never lose your child’s heart.

To bear many children is considered not only a religious blessing but also an investment. The greater their number, some Indians reason, the more alms they can beg.