Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTINDespite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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