I love money. I love everything about it.
STEVE MARTINI have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN