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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

Steve Martin

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTIN

Doctor Funny Goodness Myself Sick
Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Kiss Man Sex Start Talk Yourself
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Funny Myself Sex Woman Yourself
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
STEVE MARTIN

Artitect Dance Music Talk
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
STEVE MARTIN

Greatness Hard Work Inspirational Surprise Yourself
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
STEVE MARTIN

Money Wealth
How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Hands People Question Voice
I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTIN

Body Funny Home Myself Play Stay Woman
There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTIN

Need People Relationship Soul Mate Yourself
All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
STEVE MARTIN

Honesty Myself Pay Work
You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
STEVE MARTIN

Boredom Comfortable Work Yourself
Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
STEVE MARTIN

Act Actor Collaboration Team Work Yourself
Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
STEVE MARTIN

Act Character Help Identify Life People True Understand Yourself
Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
STEVE MARTIN

Appearance Business Perspective Teach
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTIN

Different Goodness Myself People Promise Talk Unique
Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
STEVE MARTIN

Choice People Way Word
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
STEVE MARTIN

Believe Equality Myself Stupidity
I love money. I love everything about it.
STEVE MARTIN

Love Money Myself One Liner
I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTIN

Experience Imagination Life Myself Reality Stand
The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
STEVE MARTIN

Cheerful Happiness Play Sad Yourself
With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Comedy Goodness Greatness Ideas Response Work Yourself
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTIN

Break Up Cheating Herself Myself Woman
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
STEVE MARTIN

Beautiful Believe Money Myself Natural Sex
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTIN

Greatness Inspirational Motivational Persistence Talent Thankful
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
STEVE MARTIN

Harm Illusion Inspirational Learning Moments Myself
I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTIN

Drink Myself Price Try
I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
STEVE MARTIN

Book Funny Myself

I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

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