I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTINSome people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTIN