“The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.”

Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.

Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.

It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

How many people have never raised their hand before?

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

When you close the door of your mind to negative thoughts, the door of opportunity opens to you.

It’s important just to be yourself. And probably stay out of trouble.

Time does not have the same appeal for every one

Life’s not fair, get used to it.

There are only two ways to influence human behaviour: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.

If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.

Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with that there is.

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.