There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTINThrough the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTIN