Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTINA day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
STEVE MARTIN