“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

It’s pain that changes our lives.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

I love money. I love everything about it.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

No art comes from the conscious mind.

There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.

The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.

It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.

You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.

Never do what a specialist can do better. Discover your own specialty. Do not despair if your specialty appears to be more delicate, a lesser thing. Make up in finesse what you lose in force.

I want to make music that I would like if it came on the radio.

Either we must speak as we dress, or dress as we speak. Why do we profess one thing and display another? The tongue talks of chastity, but the whole body reveals impurity.

She is a winsome wee thing, She is a handsome wee thing, She is a bonny wee thing, This sweet wee wife o’ mine.

Not every girl who wears makeup feels like, ‘Oh, I’m so ugly without it.’ I wear makeup because it’s fun to put on, and I feel pretty with it on.

Beauty is not, as fond men misdeem, an outward show of things that only seem.

I am not ambitious to appear a man of letters: I could be content the world should think I had scarce looked upon any other book than that of nature.

It would appear that the number of nonsense triplets is rather low, since we only occasionally come across them. However this conclusion is less secure than our other deductions about the general nature of the genetic code.