“There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.”

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.

I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

We were just killing time, we were young and restless, and needed to unwind. There ain’t nothing that lasts forever, forever.

It’s not so much about conquering Madison Square Garden or Vegas. The opponents who I fight will take me all around different venues and arenas. I need to conquer opponents.

Make rules and follow rules as needed, but don’t focus on riles. Focus on faith. Focus on grace. Focus on Jesus.

I think for me with theater, I need to take a break and then fall in love with it again. And then go do it again.

Sometimes you need to start again, in order to fly

People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you are allowed to be messy and wild when it comes to love.

I need to be able to rock out.