There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTINI believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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