It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTINI actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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