“I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.”

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

It’s pain that changes our lives.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

I love money. I love everything about it.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

No art comes from the conscious mind.

There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.

The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.

It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.

You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.

Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.

The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.

If the government can set aside some spot for a elk to be a elk without being bothered, or a buffalo to be a buffalo without being shot down, there ought to be some place where a Negro can be a Negro without being Jim Crowed.

Each portion of matter may be conceived of as a garden full of plants, and as a pond full of fishes. But each branch of the plant, each member of the animal, each drop of its humors, is also such a garden or such a pond.

A tool is usually more simple than a machine; it is generally used with the hand, whilst a machine is frequently moved by animal or steam power.

Person who chases two rabbits catches neither.

And here I am, dying in my bed, like cattle die. May the eyes of cowards never sleep.

You can put wings on a pig, but you don’t make it an eagle.

A man that is not afraid of a Lion is afraid of a Cat .

It’s humbling to think that all animals, including human beings, are parasites of the plant world.