A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTINChaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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