Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTINWriter’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTIN