If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLINMost people with low self-esteem have earned it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN