Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLINMost people with low self-esteem have earned it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN