Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLINInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN