Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLINInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN