When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLINInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN