If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
More George Carlin Quotes
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN