“I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.”

If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.

I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.

I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.

A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.

I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.

There is no profession more essential than that of an educator, and it’s time for all of us to embrace and celebrate their importance and contribution to America’s children.

I wouldn’t marry until I was ready to have children.

How is it that the colors don’t seem colorful anymore? How is it that the child in me wants to live yet keeps dying more and more?

When my little son, Prince, had health issues as a baby, we were told that he had a 20 percent chance of survival.

If religious instruction were not allowed until the child had attained the age of reason, we would be living in a quite different world.

My advice to kids is give it your all! Give it 110 percent and don’t give up!

I didn’t have familiarity with children. I’m learning day after day, with her [daughter]. And what impresses me the most is that she, Deva, is an individual person. But in miniature, she seems to be a special effect.

The most important thing about being a father is being able to forgive yourself. If you don’t forgive yourself, you’re not going to forgive your kids, either.