If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEYI just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
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I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
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Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY -
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY -
It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY -
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY -
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY