Groucho Marx on funny
Groucho Marx98 quotes“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.”
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx
Original quotes
From our community writers
The more you suffer, the more you awaken.
Ayaka HaseAyaka Hase Keep your faith strong enough to believe that you can manifest and receive what you want.
Lisa RoseLisa Rose Home is where your soul belongs.
Ana SoulfulAna Soulful The right person will never get tired of you.
Sophie SmithSophie Smith You thought it wouldn’t live again. But it will live again.
Carisa DownsCarisa Downs The world is not allowed to make a meal of you, girl. It is there for your consuming.
Nikita GillNikita Gill We all carry the heaviest anchors without anyone having a clue about it.
Aaron BellAaron Bell And you have fast become my weakness, even as you remain my source of strength.
Alma-May NoaAlma-May Noa
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Bob NewhartBob Newhart You shouldn’t get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Bob NewhartBob Newhart Funny is funny is funny.
Bob NewhartBob Newhart The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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