“The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.”

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

I never met a kid I liked.

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I drink therefore I am.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

I love to eat – Kit Kats or cookies-and-cream ice cream. I need sugar like five times a day.

The menu is not the meal.

Eating out doesn’t have to be a formula. Eating out is about having fun. I get really frustrated when it’s badly done.

I cook for a living; I’m not a scheduler.

I am well aware that a chef is only as good as his last meal.

I am well aware that a chef is only as good as his last meal.

There’s no bigger pain anywhere in the world than a vegetarian.

Stopping the junk food and Eating well is partially about cooking well and having the skills to do that.