W. C. Fields on alcohol
W. C. Fields96 quotes“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”
More from W. C. Fields
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields
Original quotes
From our community writers
They bleed not in the mouth but through their ink – indelible and dark.
Juana GarciaJuana Garcia I would rather shoot my arrows than keep them in my bow, I would rather risk it all than risk nothing at all.
ShamaShama I wish I knew then all of the things I know now that I am enough.
TMCTMC I feel like I’m on fire, fighting for a moment on respite – I’m not placing bets.
M.K. StandbyM.K. Standby I found him in all the chaos, and that was when my world started making sense again.
MoomerMoomer The judgement that people cast on you for how you do or do not appear is nothing more than just a projection of their own wounds.
Taj AroraTaj Arora Be grateful for what you have now, even if it’s not everything you wanted.
Sonia SabnisSonia Sabnis It seems strange how we look in the same mirror, yet what stares back, is so painfully different.
Chris AllchinChris Allchin
More on alcohol
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.
Queen VictoriaQueen Victoria [On alcohol:] Total abstinence is an impossibility and it will not do to insist on it as a general practice.
Queen VictoriaQueen Victoria When men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and are happy and help their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.
AristophanesAristophanes There’s nothing in the world like that first taste of beer.
John SteinbeckJohn Steinbeck When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.
Al CaponeAl Capone I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait”.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.
Naomi CampbellNaomi Campbell Champagne is the one thing that gives me zest when I am tired.
Brigitte BardotBrigitte Bardot