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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

W. C. Fields

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

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