I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSI must have a drink of breakfast.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS