“When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.”

Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!

I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

You can’t cheat an honest man.

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

The night is young we can keep talking till morning but lets change to the body language instead.

I want you to be the one I stay in bed with on sunday morning, and never want to leave.

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

Not every day is a good day, live anyway.

I walk around like a faded ghost, a shell of a person waiting to be filled with your love which brings me to life like a cup of morning coffee.

Replace some of that worry will a little hope.

Every morning think about how to earn more and live better.

In the morning it was morning and I was still alive.