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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

W. C. Fields

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

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