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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

W. C. Fields

I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

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