“I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.”

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.

I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

I never met a kid I liked.

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.

When you’re faced with a choice, you have one of three choices that you can have. You can have those with power decide. You can have one man, one vote. Or you can have believability-weighted decision-making.

Divine Law is not subject nor affected by the majority vote of humanity

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Donald Trump trying to do to the American voter what he did to the people that signed up for this course: He’s making promises he has no intention of keeping.

Take it from me, every vote counts.

You can’t have people making decisions about the future of the world who are scientifically illiterate. That’s a recipe for disaster. And I don’t mean just whether a politician is scientifically literate, but people who vote politicians into office.