“I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.

I do hope that some of my dissents will one day be the law.

Everybody’s got a past. The past does not equal the future unless you live there.

When I got somethin’ to say, I’ll say it.

We must not forget that God created us equal.

The use of force to achieve equality will destroy freedom, and the force, introduced for good purposes, will end up in the hands of people who use it to promote their own interests.

Sometimes, you want to meet somebody like yourself – who had an equally incredible life.

I’m trying to show everybody that I’m a girl, and I’m five foot four, and you can do anything you want, no matter your gender. It’s your world, too!

Our objective is complete freedom, justice and equality by any means necessary.