Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS
W. C. FIELDS
W. C. Fields on goodness
W. C. Fields96 quotes“Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.”
More from W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields
Original quotes
From our community writers
Don’t compare her to sunshine and roses when she’s clearly orchids and moonlight.
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ShamaShama Stop counting the reasons why they should be loved and start counting the many reasons why you are the one who is worth loving.
Ayaka HaseAyaka Hase Sure, there are oceans and seas and magnificent things – but none of them are you.
L.T. PhoenixL.T. Phoenix I wish you the wildest of dreams.
Kate WestKate West The way you look at me, The way you make me feel whole, The way you make me feel safe, thats poetry to me.
Barbara GianquittoBarbara Gianquitto You cannot leave and have me too I cannot exist in two places at once-when you ask if we can still be friends.
Rupi KaurRupi Kaur Live to be happy not to impress.
Hayley EvansHayley Evans
Meet the writers
More on goodness
The most momentous thing in human life is the art of winning the soul to good or evil.
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Michael ScottMichael Scott The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Mother TeresaMother Teresa The good is there, and when it wins, it’s beautiful.
Lesha VergnolLesha Vergnol Butterfly growth from caterpillar, the time has gone, thing change & good thing will happen.
Abel StarcAbel Starc Overthinking won’t bring you anything good. Your heart already knows the truth.
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