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Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.

W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom

Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.

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Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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