“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.”

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

I never eat before breakfast.

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

It’s a pretty crazy thing in which I tried to make songs, real songs, not the quick stuff like on tape. A dose of Kendrick Lamar, a dose of J. Cole, because it’s got to be an album that goes in the club.

I like meeting all my fans and signing autographs, although it can all get a bit crazy. Yesterday, for example, a boy just came over and planted a big kiss on my face! I was like, Hello?

It’s crazy because ‘Icy Girl’ came when I was in a dark place, but I made it to motivate myself. It was kind of like my anthem for lifting up my spirits.

Sugar makes me feel crazy – like, makes my body hurt kind of a thing. I don’t really eat fruit because it has a lot of sugar. I try not to eat a lot of red meat, but every now and again, I feel like I need iron or something – something that I’m missing.

I love empowering women. I think it’s crazy: if you ever try to belittle women, you’re playing yourself – I ride with whoever rides with me.

The good thing about social media is that we can connect in a different way that helps us not feel alone in this crazy world.

Don’t go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.

England is one of my favorite places. The fans are just so crazy.