Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDSNo doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS -
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS -
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS -
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS -
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS