black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

W. C. Fields

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

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