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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

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Appearance Help People Sex Ugly

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Believe
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Choice Inspirational Yourself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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Argument Attitude Myself
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
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Improvement Myself
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
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Born Lose People
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Equality Freedom Hate Myself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World

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