A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS
W. C. FIELDS
More from W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields
Original quotes
From our community writers
Don’t compare her to sunshine and roses when she’s clearly orchids and moonlight.
Melody LeeMelody Lee Oh moonlight, continue to shine on me. As you light up the sky, maybe some peace will come to me.
ShamaShama Stop counting the reasons why they should be loved and start counting the many reasons why you are the one who is worth loving.
Ayaka HaseAyaka Hase Sure, there are oceans and seas and magnificent things – but none of them are you.
L.T. PhoenixL.T. Phoenix I wish you the wildest of dreams.
Kate WestKate West The way you look at me, The way you make me feel whole, The way you make me feel safe, thats poetry to me.
Barbara GianquittoBarbara Gianquitto You cannot leave and have me too I cannot exist in two places at once-when you ask if we can still be friends.
Rupi KaurRupi Kaur Live to be happy not to impress.
Hayley EvansHayley Evans
Meet the writers
More on man
The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life
Man struggles to find life outside himself, unaware that the life he is seeking is within him.
A man who cannot think is not an educated man however many college degrees he may have acquired.
You can’t make a weak man strong by making a strong man weak.
The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.
EpictetusEpictetus The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
Mark TwainMark Twain Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings.
Nelson MandelaNelson Mandela Man is, above all, he who creates.