“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.

I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

I never met a kid I liked.

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I drink therefore I am.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

The professional will not tolerate disorder… He wants the carpet vacuumed and the threshold swept, so the Muse may enter and not soil her gown.

In the great glasshouses streaming with condensation, the children in mourning-dress beheld marvels.

One of the effects of fear is to disturb the senses and cause things to appear other than what they are.

There’s more to life than cheek bones.

Frequent the company of your betters.

Youth can only assert itself through the conviction that its ventures surpass all others and resemble nothing.

You look at me and see the girl,who lives inside the golden world,but don’t believe, that’s all there is to see,you’ll never know the real me.

I’ve always just worn bows. They just got bigger and better and sparklier – and then I became ‘JoJo with the bow bow,’ and it became a thing.