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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

Dick Gregory

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY

Book Greatness History Thinking Victory Win
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY

Country Friendship Mindset Myself Pay
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
DICK GREGORY

Fight Job Yourself
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY

Breathe Night Wonderful Yourself
Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
DICK GREGORY

Goodness Laugh Myself People Value
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
DICK GREGORY

Education Knowledge Wisdom
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY

Existence Foot Myself Woman
Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
DICK GREGORY

Darkness Oppression Ourselves Skin Togetherness Yourself
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORY

Eat Food Myself Oppression People Right Time
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
DICK GREGORY

Deep Evil Ourselves See Sun Yourself
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Result Wait
If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY

Democracy Goodness
Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
DICK GREGORY

Difference Grow Up Mindset Poor
If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
DICK GREGORY

Appearance Deep Judgement Person Spirit Yourself
I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Choice Mess Myself Problem Vote
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Politics Promise Relationship
I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Breathe Human Light Live Morning Myself Sun
There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
DICK GREGORY

Limitation Yourself
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
When you shoot right and truth and justice down, the more right and truth and justice will rise up.
DICK GREGORY

Justice Right Rise Truth
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY

Deal Expression Insult Man Myself
They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Pregnant Woman
The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
DICK GREGORY

Acceptance Difficult People Truth
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORY

Death Live Mom Myself Yourself
Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
DICK GREGORY

Ability Danger Deep Love Yourself

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

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Popular Authors

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